Call me, I'll edit your photos. Srsly.

Man, I love bad Photoshop jobs. Especially for corporations that I dislike. It makes it that much sweeter. I mean, where do they find their photo editors?

Here is an example of what I am talking about.

First off, this ad is for Peta. I could go on for hours about that alone. I cannot stand Peta. I mean, I do believe in saving animals. However, constantly exploiting women to promote those values as well as creating ads that basically endorse violence against women by using images of shackled and bruised female celebrities? hmmmmmmmmm.
So anyway, back to Photoshop. Everytime I look at this image, I have to laugh. Whoever edited this needs to go back to night school and take a course on basic Photoshop. It isn't rocket science. They airbrushed her so much that she doesn't even look human. (Where are her knees?!?) They also went overboard with the weight adjustments and didn't pay attention to basic human proportion rules. Her head looks huge in comparison to the rest of her body. Like she should be a plastic figurine on my desk with a creepy smile - head bobbin' away. The angel wings are alright I guess. It is probably the only thing they did get right. This could also use some major exposure and colour adjustments. She looks like a goddamn Oompa-Loompa.
What people do not realize, is that less is more when it comes to Photoshop. Or at least making it look like less is more. A good editor will make the photograph appear like it has not been edited at all. Subtlety is definitely the way to go.

The slogan also really bothers me. I get what they are going for but do they not realize that when you adopt at a shelter, you still have to pay to adopt it? Therefore, you are buying the animal. In addition, if you don't buy the animals at the pet shop what do you think happens to them? They are either euthanized or sent to a shelter for you to adopt. So this slogan really doesn't make sense because in the end, you will always be buying the animal.

Well, there is my nerdy rant for the day.

Oh yeah, today is Pick-up Line Tuesday.

Today's Line:

"The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word."

Happy Tuesday!

Caturday

Well folks, it is time for another mandatory Caturday post.

I mean look at this guy... srsly.
My emotions are so upset with me right now for posting this kitteh. They aren't sure whether to cry or laugh so they both said "fuck you", packed their bags and left me to deal with anger. (What a pissy little cunt.)

Brie and bagel time!
Because I'm an idiot and passed on a BBQ.
Perhaps I will go out tonight.

Perhaps.

Mug Shot

Happy A to M Friday everyone! (Mainly Shane.)

I found my Unicorn mug. I was so sad without it. My Mom bought it for me when I was 10 and it has been my favorite mug ever since. (For obvious reasons... I mean Unicorns are pretty much my favorite animal, other than Ligers.) I have a habit of leaving things in places I can never remember. My mind wanders. This time I left my mug in my Mother's car, which I do not remember doing at all. She brought it back to me today and I might have peed a little with excitement. She also came with some Mr. Noodles. It is a good day! I could eat Mr. Noodles for weeks on end without noticing. Probably not the healthiest choice, but my Doc did say I needed more sodium in my diet, so bring on the noodles.

I kicked Facebook to the curb yesterday and it was a good decision. I'm going to start running soon too. Bright and early every morning this summer. By that I mean 6AM. I am an early riser anyway so I might as well do something useful with that extra time. I'm rambling now.

I have my last exam on Wednesday. Ahhhhhh.

My sister came over Tuesday night and we had a nice little visit. We chowed down on butter-saturated popcorn and watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It started out a little slow, but ended up being a really good movie. I recommend it for sure. Especially if you like full frontal male nudity. (Right, Jamie? heh.)

Oh and I also GET MY KITTY NEXT WEEK! I'M SO EXCITED THAT I CAN'T STOP YELLING! Okay, I'm done.

Have a good weekend everyone.
And remember, in certain situations, it is okay to go ass to mouth. (Clerks II)

Happy Wednesday

Although I am sick today,
I could not pass on the opportunity to post this video.

Since it is Hump Day and all.




Kudos to the guy being humped. He knew what was going on and couldn't have handled it better.

Jaggerbombs

Welcome to another installment of Pick-up Line Tuesdays

First, before I give you the line,
you need to picture this guy saying it.



I'm sure you have all seen this video before because it is a classic (not unlike meatspin.com or tubgirl) But I just felt I should set the tone.


Today's Pick-up Line:

"I wanna use your thighs as earmuffs."

Well, I finally got sick. Typical, since it is exam time. I was doing so well. I didn't get sick all winter. Anyhew, I woke up yesterday with a sore throat and it is worse today. Boourns. Today will be a couch day. Well, after I do some unnecessary cleaning because I am a clean-freak. THEN it will be a couch day.

Lates.

Minivan

"Don't you know what the Minivan is?"
"No."
"You know... two in the front five in the back?"
"...Wait, you mean five in the stink?"

Bahaha.
So I haven't posted in awhile and figured that I probably should. I haven't even been busy. I had a good weekend though, despite the fact that all of my friends went to the Neil Young concert without me. I am thankful that a few people stayed home, like Marie, Amanda, Ashley and le Shawn. We had a fun Saturday evening despite the fact that we were all pretty tired. We headed to Amanda's place for a few drinks and then headed to Boom! to get silly and dance the night away. We then ventured to Luna for our usual late-night poutine run and got completely harassed by a couple of typical meat-head douche-bags who thought they were cool because they degrade women publicly.



I kind of love this band right now. I'm not even sure how to label the music. It's like 80's mixed with contemporary electro/ indie. Hmmm.

Anyhew. Coffee time, then I think I will take a walk, run some errands, hang with the Shane, etc. Enjoy the day!

ummm......

Happy Hump day?




As a side note.
This Iguana is huge. That little girl is definitely a kid version of me. Who am I kidding, I would still crawl after a beach iguana.

Looking for Strange

Some crazy guy was screaming in my building at 1AM this morning. Then he went outside and screamed some more right underneath my window. My Mom was like,"Heavens! Weren't you scared?"
pfffffft.
I was more annoyed than anything because I had a bunch of assignments to work on this morning and needed some shut-eye. I also woke up this morning and noticed there was a huge yoga meeting happening directly across from my bedroom window and of course I was naked. It is so goddamn hot in my apartment so sleeping nude is really the only option. I basically had to lay in bed for an extra half hour while peeking over my headboard every few minutes to see if the meeting was adjourned yet. (I was trying to avoid another incident like the walking-to-my-bedroom-from-the-shower awkwardness that was experienced last week. Basically, I made some guy's day because he got a nice full-frontal view.)

Marchell came by for a coffee and a chat. Kate then came after supper for the same thing. I couldn't be more grateful for their visits because they helped me procrastinate.

To further procrastinate, I was doing a little spring cleaning and backing up some old photos and found this feller:
I almost forgot how long my hair used to be. It will be nice when it is that length again. It was so low maintenance. I barely even had to brush it. I only finger combed to avoid dreads and that was about it. Listen to me yammering on about my hair. (Geezuz, I really am a Leo.)
Anyhew, this shot was taken with a shitty point and shoot camera as a draft for a larger concept I planned on working on once I had my SLR. I never did; maybe I should pick it up again.

I felt I should share this little diddy as well:


The original book was always a favorite of mine as a kid. This is the original 1973 short animation narrated by Shel Silverstein. It always made me bawl my eyes out. I almost forgot about it until I saw it posted on another blog. I watched it this afternoon and felt those familiar crocodile tears start to flow. I'm such a sap.

I didn't forget it was Pick-up Line Tuesdays for those of you who actually read this (Iggy? ...Shane?... no? okay that's cool. Fuckers.)

Today's pick-up line:

"Are you a chicken farmer? ’Cos you can definitely raise a cock!"


Check ya!

Basking

I have done absolutely zero school work last night and today. I plan on finishing some assignments tonight but we will see. I have been too busy enjoying sips of London Fog with a gorgeous Egyptian queen, making a three-person pretzel on my bed with two boys while giggling like idiots, chatting on the roof-top after dusk, and basking in the light that graces my comfy-chair in the corner over there.

I have decided to provide you with a short photo essay of my day so far.

"Gawd, this chair is comfortable. The light is so perfect, and this coffee tastes like a dream... "


"Okay. WTF is that pigeon doing?!"


"Ew. Geezuz."

The end!

Happy Caturday!

Ch-Ch-Check it!

*note: this video is just as hilarious the 2nd time around.
** and third time for that matter.

A to M Friday

Welcome to my newest installment: A to M Fridays! (That stands for Ass to Mouth Fridays... don't ask) I finally have internet. Geezuz, trying to get it installed was a nightmare. I did it all by myself though. This is a huge accomplishment because I am a bit of an idiot when it comes to these things. (Think Zoolander..."The files are IN the computer!?!")

I have my phone hooked up too. I just realized that I haven't had internet since Monday. It was a good break actually from social networking. I should do it more often. I took the time to unpack and set up my new place. It looks like I have been living here for a year now and I love it. I'm kind of OCD when it comes to moving in. I have to do everything immediately or else I won't be able to sleep. I need to make it MY space or else I won't feel comfortable. My first night here, I changed my sitting area around about 6 times before changing it back to the first arrangement with satisfaction. I spent the next couple of days unpacking and decorating with my nerd things and trinkets. I now feel like I can call this place my home. My "Trilsh" space if you will. There are some areas that still look naked because I need to get some more plants (hint, hint: if you want to get me a house warming gift... Do eet.)

I worked for the first time since living here yesterday evening. I looked at my watch and it was 3:50pm. So I grabbed my keys, my cup of java, and walked downstairs to work. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm excited to go out this weekend because I only have to walk 2 blocks to get to my bed. zzzzz.
So I missed out on my usual Pick-up Line Tuesday and another installment I am tinkering with after being inspired by Shaner: Wack-off Wednesdays. Basically, it will just be pictures of hot chicks. Stay Tuned!